Today was like most days, except most mornings I pop right out of bed..ready to conquer the day. But, today I hit the snooze button a good five times. I just couldn’t muster myself out of my cozy cotton sheets or my Christmas pajamas that I wear all year long(yes, my husband hates them, but what can I say, I’m defiant when it comes to messing with my comfort level).
So, what was meant to be a 6 am get- things -knocked out starting time turned into a 7:37 am roll out of bed ever so slowly stare at the wall for fifteen minutes with a cup of coffee gripped in my hand kind of morning. I had great ambitions of washing my hair and actually wearing it down, since its been in a permabun since July(translation of Lindsay “speak”, permabun means messy bun atop dirty hair). The very thought of wearing my hair down has made my internal temperature gage sore into the 100′s. I just can’t bare the thought of neck sweat and matted hair. Let’s just say I look like a cocker spaniel that just got out of the bath, except there is no bath. Just lots of sweat in unwanted areas. Get the picture?
Well, my good ole ambition got eaten up by the morning clock. Short on time. Long on things to get done. And washing my hair just didn’t make the top ten. So permabun it was.
I was struggling to get my thoughts in some cohesive order that morning. I eventually put my muddled mind to work and grabbed some frozen waffles that were crumpled behind the frozen leftovers that had been nestled in the same spot since June. In my brain fog, I put the waffles in the oven instead of the toaster—oops! I decided to douse up with some more caffeine—obviously, I wasn’t quite awake enough! With a boost in my clarity and pep in my step, I loaded up the car and off we went to school…just me, Roman and Sonny our beagle hanging out the window with ears flying in the wind.
Now, riding in the car with me is an adventure for many reasons. If you want a morsel of free entertainment and to possibly be a bit perplexed then just jump on in–this is what you will experience if you are a fly on the wall of my untidy car that looks like I am living out of it. Which sometimes I am…
This is just a taste of behind the wheel with Lindsay Lane Jennings. Go ahead, put your seat belt on,lock the doors. Here’s how it goes down:
• I’m constantly looking in my purse for something I have misplaced all while driving with one hand (horrible, I know!)—and my purse is a miniature version of my car, so needless to say it takes awhile to dig up whatever i am on a quest for that particular day.
• All my searching for lip gloss and cell phones+ my bad eyesight= BAD,FEMALE DRIVER
• After settling in the driver’s seat and plugging in my dead cell phone to recharge, I do this: I talk out loud. To myself, to Seth, to Roman…oh, and to Jesus. Whoever is in the car is getting an a daily dose of my verbage.
• This is where it probably gets amusing because I am a big believer in saying the Word out loud because I believe biblically it releases its power when spoken out loud…and there’s so much generational “stuff” I don’t want passed on in our lives that I just lay it all out there—taking authority over our lives( I told you this was entertaining). Ever so loudly. Sometimes with one hand on the wheel, the other in the air. When I get really excited, Roman looks at me head tilted and eyebrows furred…as if to say, “are you crazy?” And my reply is this, “Yes, son, I am. At least sometimes.” But. It’s worth other drivers looking at me with sheer bewilderment to live a life free from spiritual chains.
• The other thing I do is sing until my diaphragm is just plain tuckered out. I have ZERO music talent but I can’t get enough music. The radio. Concerts. My ipod. Old musicals from the 1950’s. Any of it. All of it. Would lick it off a plate if I could. It’s like dark chocolate for your ears!
• Oh, and lastly, I am usually shoving some kind of breakfast or lunch down my pipe. All while making a mess. My parents tell me I am the only 33 year old that still needs a bib. And they are correct.
This morning was like all the others. Luna bar being nibbled on, windows down with the permabun sitting tightly on top of my head do to all the oil in my unwashed hair, reciting Romans 8:28, claiming God’s peace and joy upon the day, and bellying out some “I’ll Fly Away” in an upbeat version that I stumbled upon on the radio.
The usual song and dance for us in the car. Literally. But this morning the song meant a little more to me than the usual 2 minute snippet they play on the radio. This was the song that my granddad died to this last May. So it was bittersweet that while I was driving my circus on wheels to school that I felt a little bit of heaven on earth on my 9:32 a.m. drive. While looking over the dew of the grass beaming off the morning’s light it occurred to me what we all know…what is ever so evident, but ever so true. We are here and gone. That’s it. We are vapors. And as that song reminded me of my grandfather—of his life and his death, it also reminded me to make the most of today. To make the most of being with people, to make the most of the little things that total up our lives—the taking your kids to school, the interacting with friends at Starbucks, the freedom of being single if you’ve yet to marry, a morning run to refocus and recharge for the day ahead,the forgiveness towards those that don’t deserve it, the chance to say thank you to someone that gets overlooked…you know, the slowing down from the hustle and bustle of life.
Now, that’s a word I’m not too friendly with..slow. I just equate it with lazy. And me and lazy have issues—lazy for the sake of lazy gets on my nerves. But truth is, our society is on speed dial with life. We go a hundred miles per hour but the irony of our speed is that it leaves our relationships at a standstill. Our lightning speed speedometer we live by is what actually wrecks our lives. Ironic, huh?
All this surpassing life’s speed limit for the sake of accomplishments leaves us empty handed and low fueled. We have nothing to give. We don’t have any more reserves. We are running down the highway of life on nothing but fumes. But we don’t even know it. Until some road closes occur.
Road closes that are marked: Grandfather’s funeral. Friend’s miscarriage. Mom’s cancer diagnosis.
I know, I know it sounds depressing and morbid and that’s not what you want to read in a blog. I hear ya, neither do I. But, if it weren’t for these little road closings along the way most of us would miss the drive—the canyons to the right, the vast mountains to the left, the sunset of purple and orange hugging one another to make a beautiful blue. We miss these treasures because we are too busy hustling to our destination. That house. That bonus. That promotion. That ring I really want. That car that I just must have because I have too many goldfish crusted in my carpet and too many buttons missing on my radio.
But trite as it may be these things will be here today. Gone tomorrow. And so will we.
Today on my little drive to school I felt God whisper this verse to me, “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
I am learning one day at a time to slow down. To number my days. To know that I will never get today back. Ever. I am learning to not define myself by check marks on my umpteenth to do list for the day. To not assess my life by what I do and do not have. To not measure my life’s worth by my accolades. I’m learning that if I will step back and take in the small majestic miracles around me—like my healthy little boy that God gave me, playing in the evenings with him and Seth by the pool in the evening, sitting with my legs propped up in S
eth’s lap while having a long over analytical conversation on the screened in porch, laughing at myself for all my oddities, eating too much rocky road ice cream and choosing not to feel guilty about it, having friends over and enjoying a glass of wine, supper and laughter….oh, there are too many to list.
These are just a handful. I’m sure if you were to sit and take an inventory of your last 24 hours you can find that life is made up of the little moments that happen between guzzling your first cup of coffee and crumbling into bed with your favorite jammies on. That’s where life happens. In the in between
I’m posting pictures below of some of my small moments throughout the last week or so…it’s a physical reminder to me that every day matters. And if I live only for the big moments, I’ll miss 90% of my life.
We all have little moments. It’s just a matter of making them count. You and I better get started now because one day when this topsy turvy journey is over you’ll fly away. And one day… I’ll fly away.
Roman enjoying rocky road as much as me!
Our recent family picture of all three us..minus Sonny:)