What makes and breaks us…


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Last Friday we schlepped into my car to go to the lake and meet up with some friends. We looked like the Beverly Hillbillie’s, minus the Beverly Hills part. If there is anything I can do well it is over pack. I use to think I was just not efficient  at packing, but turns out I am chronically afraid of not having clothing and cosmetic options. If the pharmaceutical companies run out of inventions they  really need to create some kind of pill for this affliction because it would take me half the time to get pack up for a trip and my car wouldn’t look like a homeless person storing up for Y2K.

Once I wedged my way between my oversized purse that may or may not be big enough to contain a dead body, my buffet of books, and fluffy magazines to kill some IQ points, I took a deep sigh from the farthest part of my diaphragm and out my stuffy nose. I settled in for our whopping hour and a half journey to the middle of nowhere to go hang out with friends and do nothing but shoot the bull and kill time. I was looking forward to it as Seth and I never really get that much uninterrupted time to catch up and being that we are both talkers, we can kill ninety minutes with our verbose daggers in no time flat.

Posey slept in the backseat and Roman was with my parents, so the clock was at our full disposable.  We broke it down Lindsay/Seth style like we did on last October’s car ride to fertility town to visit Ms. Doubtfire,aka, St. Louis. We talked about how we wanted to take the whole family to Argentina for the summer ( Seth has this bizarre obsession with south America—don’t ask), how we needed to write more letters to each other and our kids—so they’d have them later on, eat less sugar(while downing candy, of course), how much of my book I’d written while fighting a very ADD personality, things we need to do better in our marriage( yes, we do this every road trip—very Dr. Phil  and dorky of us of us, I know…). I ask him, he asks me—that way when we do that little aggravating thing that bugs the bajeebees out of us in public we can go back to this moment when we addressed “it”  with a not-so-annoyed attitudeJ), what was our favorite U2 song ever, and that we have way more body hair than we did at 25. Oh and we also discussed why in small towns there is so much degum Sun Drop. Get some Sun Drop, a Dairy Queen and a Piggly Wiggly and you have yourself a small town ready to roll.

A whole package of Runts and one hundred and forty five miles later Seth and I rolled in to Tims Ford Lake. The books I should have read and the magazines I should not have read tumbled out splashing  the ground….creating this fan of mismatched literature. As I looked up there was the cabin—calling to us silently with its firm, yet wide wooden beams—“come in and get busy doing nothing”. And that is exactly what we did—that night everyone took turns sitting outside around the fire —having a beer, telling old college stories about dumb things we may or may not have done and reminiscing about the days before internet and cell phones. Fires have an uncanny way of turning into a shrink with no co pay—you somehow shamelessly divulge anything in front of the flames.

As I took in all the old faces and some new, I realized that I would have driven 10 hours and packed one article of clothing just to be with friends…real friends. The kind you can tell them you don’t have it together, that life isn’t going so well, or that you just hit a massive success streak in your business and life is just really good.  Because true friends are the ones that rejoice when you rejoice and mourn when you mourn.

I have been thinking a lot about friendships lately, praying about them. Especially for my children because friends are a big,ole deal. They make or break your existence on this planet.  They create warm nostalgia about what was or they can shatter precious memories with just the remembrance of them. They bring light or darkness to pivotal moments in life.

Considering I spent most of my twenties not being a good friend, I just pray that I can learn from who I was and who I was not. I want to  be a better friend with each day, with each mistake made. We spend so much time accumulating stuff…me included. Goodness knows I love fashion and clothes way too much but when the fire of life goes dim as it will for all of us, I pray I have friends that hold me up and that I hold up in return—never asking why or how long—but simply propping you up because that is what friends do. A Jonathan and David. Ann and Diana(I am a self-proclaimed nerdy, Anne of Green Gables junkie). The Hatter and the Hare. That person that leans you up when you feel you are going to fall, or falls on you when they cannot stand one more second.

There are so many cheesy cards and movies about friends—just go to Hallmark. But, truth is they are hard to find. The ones that don’t care where you’ve been or what you do or do not have to offer them. What I am learning is that a true friend is someone that doesn’t talk behind your back…they talk to you because they love you and they want you to be the best you.

One thing I hold dear about my two close friends Julie and Natalie

is that if they ever have an issue with me they simply address it in love. That would’ve have scared my black leggings right off me ten years ago, but now it makes my heart 156 kinds of happy because I know they love me enough to say it to my face. And as I have learned conflict is the gateway to intimacy. True friends don’t run from what is challenging, they embrace it knowing it will strengthen their bond once they get through it—it’s like cutting back your plants—not pleasant or pretty at the time but they grow back twenty  times fuller.

Genuine friends are ones that are thrilled when you succeed and brokenhearted when your heart is wounded. Because it’s not about wearing masks and trying to be someone you are not. Friendship is about taking the mask off–  it’s someone that lets you be flawed, let’s you have a day when everyone and everything is on your nerves, and brings out the best in you when you think there is no best left.

Truth is your world is only as good as your friends.

here are some VERY random pics of the weekend: I lost my i phone for a bit (shocker, i know…) so this all I got!

 

 

 

Roman wanted to pre-party with his Halloween costume the morning we left. He told me he was NOT Roman Jennings…he was Lightening McQueen. Duh.

 

 

So….this isn’t the best picture of us, but whattaya gonna do? Happy together at the cabin:)

 

 

 

 

 

Posey’s favorite past time….sleeping in the car.

 

 

 

 

Seth and his childhood bested bud, Zade. Yes, you read that correct his name is Zade and he is the HAPPIEST person ever…Seth calls him a walking pill of serotonin:)

Bita and Hank Jordan —you haven’t met spunky..til you met Bita!:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zade and Nan Pollock..the newlyweds. Our Zade is all grown up…at 35,that is!

 

Alrighty….that’s all I have for my random photo display—’til next time!

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  • http://www.deepintolove.com/ Craig S.

    and it all made me smile – this is my first time commenting since we followed each other on twitter – and I’m smiling because you’re so right – you would drive forever and pack no clothing at all to see friends like this. And that shot of your baby – I’ve been reading too many “mommy blogs” – a baby shot would never make me melt before. At the beginning of the year I named this year “connect”. It’s been a year of surprises. Connecting is a must – I’m really glad you have people like this to connect with. Thank you for this – and the smile on my face. God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours Lindsay.

    • http://lifelivedfully.com lifelivedfully

      Craig! you are way too kind. Always are!! I love your authentic words..VERY refreshing! That baby is my miracle. Did you get a chance to read the wild story on how God brought her to us??
      I am a mom–but not a mommy one..i feel guilty about it some days and free about it on others! Just pray for God’s grace! LOTS of it!! blessings!llj

  • innieG

    Hey where did my comment go :(

    • http://lifelivedfully.com lifelivedfully

      Into cyberspace!! My wordpress had major issues yesterday so had to repost!!:(

  • Nancyaholcomb

    Lindsey.  loved this blog entry.  Have ya’ll watched the BBC 4 hour movie Cranford.  Oh my goodness. When you watch it watch it with the subtitles showing.  It is an amazing dialog the whole time and great on friendship.  You’ll love it but definately watch the words as you will love their grasp of the English language. and oh what snobs they were.  And we’ve always been so proud of our British heritage and I see where a lot of our Southern snobbery came from.  yuk.  Nancy

    • http://lifelivedfully.com lifelivedfully

      No….now my interest is piqued! Did u rent it? Hmmm…gonna track it down! Thanks for all your encouragement, sweet Nancy! Xo, llj

  • Mackenzie

    I LOVE reading your blogs…they teach me what to do NOW and how to live right now in order to be happy in the future! I should be listening in class right now but just couldn’t help but open your blog =) love you sweet cousin! 

    • http://lifelivedfully.com lifelivedfully

      awe, thanks, Mackenzie…u are mature wayyyyy beyond your years! I am so VERY proud of you and love you tons! xoxo,llj

  • scairdycat

    Zade needs to stop gay stalking other men on the telephone.

    • Amarie_95

      I just read your story. That’s so creeepy!